Listening skills

It is vital that children who are being bullied feel that they are listened to. Making sure you have as much information as possible will also make you better equipped to deal with the problem.

Listening may seem easy, but it often doesn't come naturally. Most people can hear, but sometimes you need to make an extra effort to really listen.

Give them time

When a child reports bullying, they should feel like the most important thing in your life. Take the time to sit down and talk about it NOW. If you don't have time now, reassure them that it is important to you and arrange to meet as soon as possible.

Let them know they have your attention

Making eye contact can help a child to know that you are focused on them and encourage them to open up. In some cases, children with some learning disabilities may not feel comfortable with eye contact, so try not to intimidate them by forcing it. Similarly, children with visual impairments are unlikely to benefit from eye contact, but there are alternatives. It may help to hold the child's hand to let them know that they are the centre of your attention at that moment.

Make time to talk when there is not a crisis

It may seem natural, but good communication takes practice. Whether you are a parent, a teacher or any other adult, take time to listen to children in everyday life. This could include playing games, reading stories, eating together or just asking their opinion. If you are used to talking, it will make it easier when the child wants to discuss bullying.

Give encouraging signals

To make a young person feel that they are being listened to, give lots of encouraging signals. Simply nodding, or saying encouraging words like "uh-uh", "yes" and "ok" can make a big difference.

Be aware of body language

The words we say are often less important than what we communicate with our bodies. Use open body language. For example, lean slightly towards the person who is talking and open your hands. It's easy to become angry when child says they are being bullied, but be careful not to make them feel that it is them you are angry with, by using angry body language like putting your hands on your hips or folding your arms.

Ask open questions

To make sure you get the full story, ask open questions- that's questions that don't have a yes or no answer. For example, "how do you feel?" "what would you like me to do?" "what happened next?"

Let them finish

Don't assume that you know what happens next, or finish a child's sentences for them, even if they are struggling to communicate. Allow them to tell their story in their own words.

Use extra communication tools

Some children and young people with learning disabilities need extra help to communicate effectively. But whichever communication method you use, you should bear in mind the advice given here.
Clearer communication